Can’t we just all get along? — The Secrets of Behind The Scenes Harmony at Weddings

I feel incredibly fortunate that I get to see some of my vendors in action outside of (and actually before) our wedding. In fact, I’ve had the luxury of spending the last few days with my videographer at a conference in Cleveland.

If everyone had the opportunity to do this, I think all us brides might feel a lot more comfortable and confident come our wedding day. But the reality is that most of us only plan one wedding in our lives (at least that’s the hope) so we don’t spend a lot of time immersed in this wacky wedding world.


Now, I know that my videographer, Zach Frankart, is amazing — I checked out his work and got testimonials so, after a great coffee meeting where my sweetie and I clicked with him right away, we felt confident that we were making the right choice. (Seriously, you should check him out — he’s incredible!)

It wasn’t until after we’d hired him that I ended up working with one of the companies he contracts with. It was a happy coincidence and has given me a rare (and incredibly fortunate) opportunity to get to know him better before our big day.

So today…I was totally checking him out.

Not that way! (although I think he’s single so if any of your bridesmaids are looking….)

I was just watching him in action, scoping out his style during a busy and fast paced event. Not that our wedding will require the kind of lighting and sound set up that a 1700 person conference entails (although, given my occasional delusions around our engagement “photo shoot,” it wouldn’t surprise me if I start to have some illusions of grandeur in that arena as well!)

I felt a little like I was on safari — observing him in his natural habitat.

What I loved most about this experience was watching how polite, attentive and conscientious he was of the photographers at the event. He went out of his way to duck out of potential shots, to keep an eye out for who else was shooting and to do his best to give them the right of way when appropriate (not at the expense of his own shots but within reason).

It literally blows my mind how great photographers and videographers are seen but not documented. (Our photographers call themselves photo ninjas!)

I did some thinking about the best ways to get all of my vendors to play nice during our wedding and wanted to share my top tips here:

  • Introduce your vendors — Think about it…you’re more likely to be nice with someone you are friendly with. Just like at a party where you’re bringing people together for the first time and have to make introductions, be sure to do your best to make the connection whenever possible. Maybe even an email in advance to get the connection started before your big day.

  • Share your vision for your wedding — I plan on sharing the “story” of our wedding with our vendors (at the very least our photographers, videographers and DJ). Mark and I have put a lot of time and thought into our wedding and I want to be sure that those details are captured. But it’s a lot more compelling to people to document a detail if they know the emotion behind it. For example, are you more inspired to snap a picture by “don’t forget to document my hair clip” or “The clip in my hair was my grandmother’s and my cousin gave it to his wife for their wedding day. She’s letting my borrow it so that I have something special both from the two of them AND from my grandmother who passed away when I was 16.” Tell a good story and get people involved!

  • Respect their craft! These people you have hired to be a part of your big day are EXPERTS — let them be! We’ve had some ideas for photo ideas over the past few months and we’ve run them by our photographers. Sometimes they love them and sometimes they suggest we choose a different route. I’m never offended by their insight — we hired them because they are excellent at what they do. If they were agreeing with everything I said, against their better judgement, and then the pictures turned out poorly, I would be upset with them (and have every right to be). They know what they’re doing….let them.

  • On the day of your wedding, take a deep breath and let it all go — I come back again and again to my sister’s best advice from her own wedding, “I can plan and plan and put a hundred details in place…but on the day of the wedding, as long as I end up married to my husband, it’s a success.” Relax, enjoy your special day and join in the fun!!!



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *