Perhaps I subconsciously blocked out the fact that I never wrote the rest of my dress-shopping-saga. For those of you who haven’t yet read about my first foray into dress shopping, you can read it here.
So, as I mentioned, the mere thought of wedding dress shopping has the ability to make me cry. This was, unfortunately, made evident on Valentine’s Day.
Yes, you read that right. I cried. On Valentine’s Day. Because of a dress. A dress that I did not yet own.
Oh, my, I must have lost my mind!
Let me be clear that I had still only been to one dress boutique. It’s not like I had scoured the face of the earth, searched for months and STILL come up empty handed.
The truth was that I had put LOADS of undue pressure on myself when it came to finding a dress. Primarily, I thought that I should look drop-dead-gorgeous in each and every dress that I tried on. Well, that’s not in the slightest bit ridiculous, now is it?
If I’m also very, very honest with myself (and you), the dresses that I had tried on didn’t make me feel pretty. In fact, they kind of made me feel dumpy. And fat.
This, of course, could have been due to the fact that each and every dress that I tried on was about two to three sizes too small and the boutique we had gone to only had one sample size of each dress. I mean, that could have been the reason.
In fact, when I had tried on a couture dress that was in my size, my friend exclaimed that it could be “the one.”
Unfortunately, it was nearly three times by hoped-for-budget.
Hence, the tears. Well, actually there was one more rather unlikely triggering factor that brought on the tears. My fiance’s kindness.
See, I’d told my fiance that the dress shopping had been really stressing me out and I just didn’t see how it would be possible to find a dress that made me feel beautiful AND was in our budget.
He had recently received his tax refund and while we were eating a delicious Valentine’s Day dinner that we had cooked together, he told me that he really wanted me to have the dress that I wanted and that we could use some of his tax refund in order to increase the budget. We could even have a dress made, if that would be better.
And so I cried.
Now, you would think that I cried because of his amazing, kind and generous idea. Oh no. I cried because I was supposed to go dress shopping a few days later and, as I so eloquently exclaimed, “I don’t wanna!”
I’m not particularly proud of this moment in time. In fact, that could be way I’ve procrastinated so long in writing this post. But I want to share both the ups AND the downs of wedding planning with you.
Even my lowest, most annoying, can’t believe that was me, down in the dump moments. So that maybe, just maybe, you might feel a little bit better about a moment of losing your own mind.